Oh to be Nothing, Nothing...

Georgina Taylor Hymn:

"Oh, to be nothing, nothing, Only to lie at His feet, A broken and emptied vessel, For the Master’s use made meek. Emptied that He might fill me As forth to His service I go; Broken, that so unhindered, His life through me might show.

Refrain
Oh, to be nothing, nothing, Only to lie at His feet, A broken and emptied vessel, For the Master’s use made meek.

Oh, to be nothing, nothing, Only as led by His hand; A messenger at His gateway, Only waiting for His command; Only an instrument ready His praises to sound at His will, Willing should He not require me, In silence to wait on Him still.

Oh, to be nothing, nothing, Painful the humbling may be, Yet low in the dust I’d lay me That the world might my Savior see. Rather be nothing, nothing, To Him let our voices be raised, He is the Fountain of blessing, He only is meek(?) to be praised."

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I remember coming across the first stanza to this hymn back when I was in Mongolia. The words so shook me that I wrote them on a notecard, stuck them to my clouded, chipped mirror and read them so often I memorized them. I have often recalled them, but didn't know there were subsequent lines to this hymn, nor do I even know who Georgina Taylor is (maybe relation to Hudson Taylor? I'll have to see...) Anyway - I first learned of it while reading some stuff either about or by Amy Carmichael.
Just today, the words popped back in my head and I decided to find them once again via google. Some random brother in Christ had posted them on his blog, so I copied and pasted them on mine. God's been recently working in me a greater understanding of humility, largely in part to rereading Andrew Murray's book, "Humility". I highly recommend this small, but deeply profound little book. It has turned me upside down and inside out. I pray the inward change I feel begins to reveal itself in outward actions so that, in the words of the hymn, "the world might my Savior see."
I hope these beatiful penned words encourage you as they have me over the past several years. Looks like I have a bit more memorizing to do :)

Shared Roots

Greg and I spent the afternoon yesterday enjoying a Christmas gift from my brothers and sister-in-law...two cross-country ski rentals. Some dear (and very sacrificial) friends of our offered to take the kids for a few hours so we could enjoy the gift :) And we did! We were directed to this little known nordic ski area just north of town. The weather was frigid cold and snowy, but once you got inside the woods, it was like a fortress from the wind and snow. I think in the frozen forest during winter even time itself hibernates. The marked trails were narrow with plenty of ups and downs to make you break a sweat and then get the thrill of coasting out-of-control almost into a tree...SO fun!! :) As we were coming around the final bend of the loop, we spotted a tree, make that two trees, no, one tree, no...two trees? It was a siamese tree. Two in one. They shared a common root system, but were two distinct trees as they jutted into the air, each in a different, yet upward direction. Then Greg and I got theological. We do that a lot around here. I love him for that...he's one of the few people in my life who will put up with my wonderings and exterally verbal processings of God and His myserious ways. And he always has such great input and wise answers. Greg keeps me on track (in more ways than one). And, Shawna...back on track...we saw started thinking about the spiritual parallels between this/these tree(s) and marriage. You see, the moment we were joined in covenant relationship on that altar, we began sharing a common root system in God's eyes. When he sees us, he sees one...and he sees two. It's one of those wonderful "both/and" mind-blowing God things that we will never know fully on this earth. I've heard it said that marriage is the best picture we have of the Holy Trinity. The Godhead, three in one. It's so beautiful and so deeply moving that we can reflect and share in that mystery in the sanctity of man and wife together as one. We started talking about how if this is the case, if we truly share common spiritual roots, then how much more should I be ever aware of my own personal walk with Jesus. For this directly affects the growth of my husband. If I am rooted and grounded in Love, then Greg will be blessed by that in a way that I cannot see...for it is in the underground portion of the heart and soul. The place only God waters and causes to grow. If my roots are withering, then Greg will feel it, too. Greg's spiritual growth will help my limbs, branches, leaves to flourish and be beautiful for all to see. Now, hear me well. I am not saying that I am responsible for Greg's journey with the Lord, or his lack there of...Nor is he, mine. We are individually accountable to the Father, no doubt. But there is something deep, something profoundly incomprehensible about the spiritual roots we share as husband and wife. Something only God sees. So what am I to do with this truth? I am to pray, pray, pray for Greg's spiritual growth in Jesus. That his roots would go deep into the Love of the Savior. And that God would continue to water our roots as one, keeping them so intertwined in the soil of His Love that neither wind, nor famine, nor any any other pestilence would ever, could ever sever our tree. And that, if one of us grows weak, we can draw nourishment from the roots of the other. We are one tree, one spiritual being, are we not? And as One, we are to offer shade and rest to the sojourner, shelter to wildlife, seeds for new saplings, beauty to the beholder...we are to be Life-givers...for His namesake. For His glory. Simply because He is, and we are His.

lessons from the crib

We let Savannah cry her heart out the other night...for a long time. And she didn't stop. So, like the judge being nagged by the persistent widow, I went in, fed her and she snuggled on down for a long winter's nap. I was thinking about this the day after. It just kills me to hear her cry like that...especially when I'm the one she wants, and know that my very presence and embrace will calm her and bring her peaceful rest. Isn't it like that with our heavenly Father? At times we are so desperate for His present help that all we can do is cry out to him with all we've got. In His grace, He so often comes quickly. "Call to me and I will answer you..." Jer. 33:3. I think of the allegory "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. When Much Afraid is on the deepest and darkest hour, she cries for The Shepherd and he comes leaping and bounding over the highest hills, driest deserts, roughest terrain...just to be with her. To bring her peace, perspective, security and His loving touch. And yet, there are times when I have called out to my Lord to come to my rescue and He has not shown Himself to me. Why? Why wouldn't He let me know His presence? Why would He let me keep on crying? His ways are higher than mine, but perhaps some of His reasons are shadowed in why I didn't got running to my baby girl when she needed me. One, I knew she was OK. I could hear her in the monitor. I had checked on her at the beginning of her cries. And like our heavenly Father, I was awake with her. I wanted her to know that she could fall back to sleep on her own...to build "strength" in her, if you will. Much like our God. In His silence and sovereign choice to not respond in the way we would like, He is strengthing us...our faith, our character, our minds. What deep trust our Father puts in us when He allows us to feel our pain a bit longer than we would like. So, what did I want to do that night? Oh, I wanted to run in there, hold my little one, put her to my breast and rock her gently back to sleep...and eventually I did. And so will our Jesus. But let us trust His timing and His ways. Trust Him in the silence. Know He is listening to your every word, your every cry for help. Yes, He longs to hold you, hug you, kiss you, whisper His love to you. "The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will rejoice over you with singing. He will quiet you with His love." Zeph 3:17. Keep crying out to Him. Hope in His promises. And if it seems He is not answering you right away. Call out again. And again. "So let us know. Let us press on to know the LORD. His going forth is as certain as the dawn. And He shall come like the spring rain watering the earth." Hosea 6:3. He loves you, baby girl.

You know, there's a lot of pressure with the "first post" on a new blog. I mean, if it's a flop, then who's going to want to come back for more? But then again, who's my audience? Is it you, dear reader? Ahhh...you are precious, no doubt, but, no, it is not you. I confess I write for the Most High. He is my source, my "muse" if you will. It's in Him I live, move and have my being. So I suppose that He alone will judge if what overflows from my heart onto this cyber page is worthy. A worthy, fragrant offering before His eternal throne that brings a smile to His holy, beautiful, ever-extending heart of love. Yes, I write for Him. And by His grace, I exist for Him. Well, sweet sister...the smell of freshly baked cookies is in the air (I wonder if we smell like cookies out of the oven to Him sometimes? I hope so.) My hubby is anxiously waiting with a glass of milk in the other room. It's "date" night. I better run before he sneaks one or two of my share :)